It is 3:44am right now when I started typing this blog post. I can't sleep, but I'm feeling extremely tired. Ever since you left me, I can feel that I'm not being myself. Everything went wrong... I no longer get the same confidence that I used to get when I'm with you. It had been so long, and I've thought through many things, many times.
Why am I not myself right now? Why I have this weird feeling in me? Ever since that day we broke up, I should have already told myself by now that you should not give me anymore chances. I should have given up. I have no idea what and how I'm thinking. My heart still thinks that it's you, and it is always you. I'm trying very hard to bring myself back to my optimum state. The feeling of losing someone you care for and love just isn't that great... No matter how much I tried to force myself not to think of you anymore, it doesn't work. Do you know how much I miss you? Just that I thought I might have let go of you, then I realized that you are always on my mind... It is extremely hard to express what I'm feeling right now with words... but I'll try anyway and I really hope you would understand. You've changed me, changed me to be a person that only love you and no one else. I don't even know whether you are reading my blog posts everyday or not, but I'll still take a chance. It is because of you, I've learnt to treasure people around me... I have no idea how long I will live, and I have no idea how long my love for you would last... As least for now, I can still feel my love for you. Down with a really really bad flu today morning. I have allergic nose, and it tend to happen the most in the morning. It only started to went bad these few days... The flu made me late for school, and everything related to wasting my precious time in the morning. LRT was also incredibly slow to come today. The frequency was 5 minutes and then suddenly, only one LRT came. Just imagine those passengers trying to force themselves into one train cabin when there's supposed to be two?
Madness, I mean MADNESS!! Oh, so basically I went out today at around 6pm to Bukit Panjang Plaza to chill out a bit. I was at home all the while this weekend, and it was boring. I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU :( but then I DON'T have the courage or any reasons to ask you out anymore. Today, I felt extremely tired. I slept at 7 - 8pm yesterday night then woke up at 1am. Used my laptop until 5am then went back to sleep again. Slept till 12pm, then was half-awake till 2pm. Such a waste of time eh? I forgot to call beyerdynamic regarding my spoilt In-ear monitors :( I also didn't call Fujitsu regarding my spoilt DVD drive. I have no idea what I did today, it was a lazy day for me. All I did was sleep and eat then eat and sleep. Had McDonald's for dinner: Picture on the left
(Picture taken using iPhone 4S 8MP sensor) Cost over $33, All meals upsized. Two Milo, one McFizz, and added one Minute Maid orange juice McDonald's = The meal solution for a lazy day :D Working today, will update post in the day! Update: So as I published above, I went to work today. The pay was ridiculously high, at around $15/hr. Earned $60 dollars for 4hrs today. All I did there was to paste screen protectors on iOS devices (iPod touch 5th gen & iPad 4th generation) Went to the company to collect the screen protectors, then was sent to the attached company to paste screen protectors. The pay was fixed at $60 dollars, so if the work is finished, I can just go home. Was listening to those sync-ed songs on my iPhone 5's Music library and came across the song above. Thought the lyrics was interesting so went to identify the lyrics... It sure was interesting... My IEM spoilt again! Time for me to make another trip down to beyerdynamic to get it replaced. Hopefully, I got the time to do so. Will make a call to their Service Center tomorrow morning. Album for this week is: The Greatest Hits of Best S Club 7 - S Club 7 (2003) Having a bad flu these few days, what's wrong with me again? Sneezing non-stop, time to stock those anti-histamine (Chlorphenamine & Loratadine). One of them used to make my nose bleed, not too sure about now. In the morning, my stupid nose now never fails to make me late. Iron Man 3 debuts in theaters today! Who's going to watch with me? O_O My table and my room is starting to get messy once again!! :( I used to share my room with my brother. Since now my brother always sleep in another room, I finally got my own room then :D More space means more place to put things and easier to get messy. *Just ate another 'Loratadine', urgh!! D: How are you these few weeks? Your chest pain getting any better? Since I didn't chat with you, it should be better? Take care of yourself alright? I miss you... As always, take care and I'll see you soon
I miss you so much... yet, I have no idea what to do to win you back It feels so good yet so foreign, what was I doing? I'm confused... Got Bloons TD 5 in our joint account. If you are reading this, go download it on your phone and try it out. It's a great game. I didn't use any of the remaining balance to purchase the game. Speaking of that account, I always thought that account would be something to hold us together forever. When we first started the account, we talked about how big of an app collection we would be able to garner together at one place. How we can use the account for our future, and both of us having constant contribution towards the account to aid sustainability.
The account 'flourished' with both of our commitment towards it. We have many credits left unspent, still left intact in that account. Why the account isn't holding us together the way it should? We have slowly built so much things between us. Many of our possessions are alike. We use the same things. I trust you with my account as well. All these are not built within a day, it is continuous effort put in by us. You are the only person that I trust having access to my personal accounts. It has been MORE days since I last chat with you.
How are you for the past few days? Is everything okay? How is your lesson? Are you feeling better? I'm sorry for everything... I don't know why I am being so faithful to you, when you can just let it all go at once. I'm not like you, when letting go is just so easy. No matter how much I think this is my fault, I still think more of it is you being unfaithful. Telling me and me not doing anything does not give you the permission to go out and like other guys. So what if you have already told me? If you really cared, you would have called me when I didn't call you. Crying in sorrows alone without telling/reminding me about anything doesn't work. You would have tried other ways to communicate with me, you didn't... or did you? Today is boring, as usual. Math lesson was still okay. I still got a lot to catch up and I really cannot do those questions!! I don't know what's wrong with me... Other than that, everything went fine. It was raining when I went to school today. It only slowly stopped raining when I reached school. Got my friend to buy for me McSpicy meal for 'breakfast'. Yes, I take two meals as one. I don't eat breakfast much or at all, so my lunch is usually my 'Breakfast + Lunch'. Just finished reading 'A Singapore Love Story' by Low Kay Hwa
The feeling... sob sob... I love you, Piggie :( |
Updated: 20 Aug 2021
Steven Ching
Dazhong Primary School Bukit View Secondary School Singapore Polytechnic (Diploma in Computer Engineering) University of Wollongong (Bachelor of Computer Science - Digital System Security with Distinction) Infantry Specialist (3SG NS) Archives
August 2021
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