It is 3:44am right now when I started typing this blog post. I can't sleep, but I'm feeling extremely tired. Ever since you left me, I can feel that I'm not being myself. Everything went wrong... I no longer get the same confidence that I used to get when I'm with you. It had been so long, and I've thought through many things, many times.
Why am I not myself right now? Why I have this weird feeling in me? Ever since that day we broke up, I should have already told myself by now that you should not give me anymore chances. I should have given up. I have no idea what and how I'm thinking. My heart still thinks that it's you, and it is always you. I'm trying very hard to bring myself back to my optimum state. The feeling of losing someone you care for and love just isn't that great... No matter how much I tried to force myself not to think of you anymore, it doesn't work. Do you know how much I miss you? Just that I thought I might have let go of you, then I realized that you are always on my mind...
It is extremely hard to express what I'm feeling right now with words... but I'll try anyway and I really hope you would understand. You've changed me, changed me to be a person that only love you and no one else. I don't even know whether you are reading my blog posts everyday or not, but I'll still take a chance. It is because of you, I've learnt to treasure people around me... I have no idea how long I will live, and I have no idea how long my love for you would last... As least for now, I can still feel my love for you.
I think I need more than just luck...
This picture had been in my Dropbox for a very long time, it's time I posted it here
No one knows how long themselves will live, that is why it is very important to make everyday count. Every second that goes by means I'm nearer and nearer to death. I really hope to have a chance to be with you once more, and I'll promise you that's the last chance you ever have to give. I have no idea why you told me you loved me. I always asked you why you loved me, you didn't gave me a proper answer. What is it that made you no longer love me? Did I change? Did my attitude towards you changed?
Is my current situation my retribution?
Signing off @ 4:17am
As always, take care and I'll see you soon...
Updated: 12 March 2021
Dazhong Primary School
Bukit View Secondary School
(Diploma in Computer Engineering)
University of Wollongong
(Bachelor of Computer Science - Digital System Security with Distinction)