I like the way you held my hand,
Many things happened during the past two days... I can totally see why your good friend broke out and scolded you for what you have been doing. She is an incredible friend of yours, don't ever forget that. She is willing to sacrifice her friendship with you so that one day you can see your mistakes. I didn't told her to scold you at all, and I have no idea why she suddenly scolded you.
Today, I told you that I know you dislike chatting with me. You didn't comment on that topic. I think I can take it as you admitted. I'm amazed by how things go. I used to be the one you liked the most, loved the most and the one you are most willing to share your feelings with. Just a mere 2 months, you changed into a person who hated talking to me.
You asked me this question twice
"Do you still expect us to get back together" My answer is "Yes"
I believe one day you will wake up from everything. One day you would no longer be love blinded by that guy, Since this blog would at least last for 6 months, let this 6 months be the benchmark to what would happen.
There are many things that I know about you. I just kept quiet. As long as you don't tell me yourself, I'll just act like I don't know anything at all. I really don't wish to think of those things. Everything that you did with that guy just breaks my heart,
Dear viewers, aren't myself stupid? Doing so much for a girl who doesn't feel anything? Opening this website just hoping that one day she would read it and wake up? I really love her, that's the reason I'm not giving up. Remember I once promised you that if one day your heart went astray, I would definitely win you back? Yes, until today I'm still keeping that promise. It is one of the most important promise...
You told me your chest pains were caused by me. It is all because of me that's why you are having chest pains. What did I do? I don't think I'm feeling any better either. I for once didn't text you for more than a week, but you are still having chest pains isn't it? It is really because of me? Or is it just one of your excuse to make me give up?
You asked this question, "Do you still think I'm a liar?"
I really have no idea how to answer that question. I know there are things that you lied to me, and I had found out the hard way, through many channels. Take one for example, let's follow up to that interview case shall we?
You told me that you going for interview. Then you told me the interview was okay. Next you told me you didn't go for the interview... I know you have clarified that you just didn't want me to worry. I have no idea why would I worry if you told me the truth? I would only worry when you DON'T tell me the truth. That night, you suddenly messaged me. I have no idea what struck you that night. Yes, I was extremely happy as I thought you finally woke up and you want to give me the chance to make things work. You began telling me your goals, what you want to be in the future. I was excited for you as well upon hearing what you told me.
You told me that you was resting at home when I asked you during the time we were messaging each other. My other source told me that you only went home at 9pm - 10pm+. Isn't it interesting how many lies you have to make to cover up your initial lie? You should be already dismissed at 1pm and you took 9 hours to reach home. Are you REALLY lying or I have unreliable source? It's already 9pm yet you are still hanging around at city area? Seriously? I closed one eye and pretended I didn't know or see anything... First thing that came to my mind was, did you just went out with that guy? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you did. You also mentioned you didn't contact or talk to that guy for many weeks already. It is really the truth?
But yes, I told myself to trust you...
NEXT you asked me "Do you think I'm playing with people's feelings?" I have no idea how to answer that as well. You told me that you "won't disappoint me" and asked me to give you some time to think over about 1 month ago. I thought you was really considering getting back with me after myself trying so hard. First few days were okay, then you started giving one word replies... Yes, I'm sensitive and I realize things like this. WOW, only after a few days after you told me you won't disappoint me, you already disappointed me. Things you tell me, I really don't know which to believe... I'm so confused.
P.S. I know exactly what that guy did to you to make you become like this. Since you didn't want to tell me. Same rules apply as above. I will pretend that I don't know
Mandy, please wake up from all your love blindness and infatuation. Take a look at me again. Did I change at all? Remember I once told you that the one thing I cannot tolerate is my girlfriend cheating behind me? Ever wondered how I felt when I realized that you liked someone else? It even happened twice! (We are still together at that time!!) You still expect me to be a good boyfriend, when you yourself cannot even withstand the charms of other guys? What did I do wrong? If you still treated me as your boyfriend at that time, shouldn't you come and talk to me about you losing feelings for me? You are the one with problems, not me, so you should come talk to me. Why are you still expecting me to go out with you and do some activities instead of sitting down and have a heart to heart talk? I've already put aside the fact that you cheated behind me (at least your heart went to someone else), and still love you... even until now...
I really LOVE you :( Why don't you see it?
Today, you don't have any lessons. I'm thinking that you went out with your friends? or even that guy? I don't want to think about it anymore...
Remember how you promised me that you would be my first girlfriend and my last girlfriend?
Remember how we talked about marriage even though we were just even thinking about it?
Love isn't having 500 pictures of him on your phone.
The quote above looks familiar uh? Let's continue
Those were your hands, NOT MINE!
Why you spend so much effort on me that time only to let go of me for someone else?
Old memories still hurt and make me cry.
I'm really crying right now. Can anyone save me from feeling all this hurt? Someone save me!
I'm slowly dying and I feel it... it's close... Just notice the amount of white hair growing on my head! I'm under tremendous stress right now and I hope that it doesn't affect my studies in any way.
I'm looking at my 3.33333... GPA, please don't disappoint me and go higher!
I love you for who you are. If you are really a liar, I will love this liar. If you really play with people's feelings, I will still love you. Stop trying to make me give up, because I won't!
Thanks for reading.
As always, take care and I'll see you soon.
Updated: 12 March 2021
Dazhong Primary School
Bukit View Secondary School
(Diploma in Computer Engineering)
University of Wollongong
(Bachelor of Computer Science - Digital System Security with Distinction)