Going NS soon...

Hi everyone. It had been a while since I last posted anything here on my blog. I was working at HP for about a month when I received a notification to enlist on 12 June. I was really enjoying working at HP, as I had the chance to work with computers everyday. Still, no one could save me from the fact that I'm enlisting soon. I told my employer that I will be quitting to serve NS. 

I will be spending my birthday in NS, as there will be a two weeks confinement for new recruits. 

Today, I went out with a 'girl' friend of mine to 'celebrate' my upcoming birthday and to meet for the last time before my NS. We went to eat at a restaurant at Westgate (I forgot the restaurant's name, or maybe I don't even know the name to begin with). It was kind of interesting as we are presented with a bowl of ingredients to BBQ ourself. The ingredients are chicken, pork, scallop, lettuce, and pumpkin? After eating, we walked around the Westgate/JEM area. Coincidentally, saw Matt who happened to be there at well. I didn't see him for quite a while and he is already a grown up young man. (It's only when I see people grow up, then I slowly start to realize that I'm getting old)

Meal at Manhattan Fish Market :)

Hi, 

I don't know whether I should be saying this but here is it. 
I was very disappointed today. I missed the old days where we had so much to talk about, where I know you so well to know what you will do next, where you was more approachable and where you had time for me. 

Now, being with you feels so distant. It's so close yet so far. I have no idea what you are thinking. The feeling of togetherness with you had gone, and I haven't felt that way for a long time.

(Still remember the times when I told you that I felt so close to you?)

The harder I tried to pull you back, the further you drifted. Till a point of no return, till a point that I don't think that I'm even fit to be a 'brother' of yours...
I think everyone in my life is there for a purpose, and you have fulfilled your purpose, so you shall go. 

You was there at my lowest time, to be there for me, encourage me, love me for who I am during my break up. But I'm a radically different person now. I'm no longer weak and can stand up on my own.

For you, you have a new life to pursue. You found your new love, your new passion and motivation. 
Therefore, I think you are not heartbroken. You are just reminiscing over the fact that we once have a very close past, and is something that you don't feel now. You feel lost. Not so much that you care for me, but more of the fact that you felt that you lost something.

To be very honest, I already expected this to happen long ago. It didn't happen so quickly because you was still willing to put in time and effort to make us work. You will just be another person who I will slowly forget but always recall at times. Love don't just transition so smoothly to friendship. Some things have to go/be given up.

I've always wondered how we would be like after my two years of NS. But it turns out that we already know. It is that we didn't even last until before my NS. 

These two years ahead of me will be a very tough one as I sort my feelings out and ONLY the best/truest friends/relationship will remain.

I have only these few days left to do anything at all. As much as I missed the past and want to bring all of it back, I cannot. I have failed badly in managing two of my most precious friendship/relationship in my life till now, and I don't want to have the third instance. 

Do you know how much I blame myself when you call me and cry? That's when I know I didn't do a good enough job to keep you accompanied, or even loved. Did you call me and cry because you don't love me any more or? because you realized that you do not need me in your life? or you realized that your life don't just revolve around me? What I can recall is you saying sorry multiple times. As I said, I'm always here for you even at odd hours. In fact, I tell that to most of my friends. But whether they will use my company at these hours is another thing. 

Now I'm wondering whether you still check my blog as you did in the past everyday, or that had changed as well?

PS. I love you...

Oh, before I forget. I've just renewed my website for another year :) and also worked out some of the kinks on my website. I'm trying very hard to maintain this website. I earn absolutely nothing and I have to keep spending

Signing off @ 4:23am
As always, take care and I'll see you soon...