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I like the way you held my hand,
it was so simple yet so special.
I like the way you squeezed and
tightened your grip once in awhile,
it told me that i could trust you
and not worry about anything.
It took away my insecurities.
I like it when you let go and held my hands again,
it told me that you don't mind holding my hand.
Everything felt so nice & perfect for those moments
I love you.
Mandy.
Many things happened during the past two days... I can totally see why your good friend broke out and scolded you for what you have been doing. She is an incredible friend of yours, don't ever forget that. She is willing to sacrifice her friendship with you so that one day you can see your mistakes. I didn't told her to scold you at all, and I have no idea why she suddenly scolded you.
Today, I told you that I know you dislike chatting with me. You didn't comment on that topic. I think I can take it as you admitted. I'm amazed by how things go. I used to be the one you liked the most, loved the most and the one you are most willing to share your feelings with. Just a mere 2 months, you changed into a person who hated talking to me.
You asked me this question twice
"Do you still expect us to get back together" My answer is "Yes"
I believe one day you will wake up from everything. One day you would no longer be love blinded by that guy, Since this blog would at least last for 6 months, let this 6 months be the benchmark to what would happen.
There are many things that I know about you. I just kept quiet. As long as you don't tell me yourself, I'll just act like I don't know anything at all. I really don't wish to think of those things. Everything that you did with that guy just breaks my heart,
Dear viewers, aren't myself stupid? Doing so much for a girl who doesn't feel anything? Opening this website just hoping that one day she would read it and wake up? I really love her, that's the reason I'm not giving up. Remember I once promised you that if one day your heart went astray, I would definitely win you back? Yes, until today I'm still keeping that promise. It is one of the most important promise...
Today, I told you that I know you dislike chatting with me. You didn't comment on that topic. I think I can take it as you admitted. I'm amazed by how things go. I used to be the one you liked the most, loved the most and the one you are most willing to share your feelings with. Just a mere 2 months, you changed into a person who hated talking to me.
You asked me this question twice
"Do you still expect us to get back together" My answer is "Yes"
I believe one day you will wake up from everything. One day you would no longer be love blinded by that guy, Since this blog would at least last for 6 months, let this 6 months be the benchmark to what would happen.
There are many things that I know about you. I just kept quiet. As long as you don't tell me yourself, I'll just act like I don't know anything at all. I really don't wish to think of those things. Everything that you did with that guy just breaks my heart,
Dear viewers, aren't myself stupid? Doing so much for a girl who doesn't feel anything? Opening this website just hoping that one day she would read it and wake up? I really love her, that's the reason I'm not giving up. Remember I once promised you that if one day your heart went astray, I would definitely win you back? Yes, until today I'm still keeping that promise. It is one of the most important promise...
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I am a type of person that always think of the past. Be it whether it is something that I've regretted, or things that I won't forget in my entire life. It's always on my mind... For things that I've regretted doing/not doing, it helps to remind myself to not commit the same mistake again in the future. For things that are unforgettable, it reminds me of what matter the most to me...
Do you still remember the times when I first held your hand and you told me how much you loved it?
Do you still remember that night when I told you that I will give you the chance to be my girlfriend?
Do you still remember when I first kissed you and I still don't know how to do it right?
Do you still remember that you used to cry a lot?
Do you still remember that we used to share sweets?
Do you still remember when did we first hugged each other?
For me, it is all my first time. The first girl I've kissed is you. The first girl I've hugged is you. My first girlfriend is you. The first girl I've ever held hands with is you.
But of course, there are bad things as well. The first girl I've ever hurt is you. The first girl I've neglected is you. The first girl I've made cry is you.
That is when I realized that,
Those things I've regretted the most and the things that are the most unforgettable to me are all related to you
Today, I found the 'green wooden giraffe' that you bought for me. I placed it with my keys. You should have another 'pink wooden giraffe' with you.
Do you still remember the times when I first held your hand and you told me how much you loved it?
Do you still remember that night when I told you that I will give you the chance to be my girlfriend?
Do you still remember when I first kissed you and I still don't know how to do it right?
Do you still remember that you used to cry a lot?
Do you still remember that we used to share sweets?
Do you still remember when did we first hugged each other?
For me, it is all my first time. The first girl I've kissed is you. The first girl I've hugged is you. My first girlfriend is you. The first girl I've ever held hands with is you.
But of course, there are bad things as well. The first girl I've ever hurt is you. The first girl I've neglected is you. The first girl I've made cry is you.
That is when I realized that,
Those things I've regretted the most and the things that are the most unforgettable to me are all related to you
Today, I found the 'green wooden giraffe' that you bought for me. I placed it with my keys. You should have another 'pink wooden giraffe' with you.
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Today is the first day of my Year 3 Semester. I went to school slightly early and met my friends. Strangely enough, I felt as if it was my first day of school. I was worried for you, as in how you get along with all your friends in your class and how you get along with your new lecturers.
Today I felt extremely different compared to previous school reopening.
I've tried to text you and I know you didn't want to reply, but you still did. Thank you for that. I know that many things have changed, I should not expect so much. The more I expect, the more I fall.
Today, you told me that you want to go for a job interview after your lessons. When I asked you again at around 4pm, you told me your meeting was okay and you was still deciding whether to go to work or not since you had heavier modules this semester...
Soon after, you told me that you did not go for any interview. I do not understand... First, you told me that you want to go for interview. Then, you told me that the interview was okay. Lastly, you told me that you didn't go for the interview... I don't know which to believe. I thought something went wrong when I didn't get a reply from you after so long. It was like nearly 3 hrs and you didn't reply. I was worried :(
Do you know that just a simple message from you will make my day?
Today I felt extremely different compared to previous school reopening.
I've tried to text you and I know you didn't want to reply, but you still did. Thank you for that. I know that many things have changed, I should not expect so much. The more I expect, the more I fall.
Today, you told me that you want to go for a job interview after your lessons. When I asked you again at around 4pm, you told me your meeting was okay and you was still deciding whether to go to work or not since you had heavier modules this semester...
Soon after, you told me that you did not go for any interview. I do not understand... First, you told me that you want to go for interview. Then, you told me that the interview was okay. Lastly, you told me that you didn't go for the interview... I don't know which to believe. I thought something went wrong when I didn't get a reply from you after so long. It was like nearly 3 hrs and you didn't reply. I was worried :(
Do you know that just a simple message from you will make my day?
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You just made my day. Goodnight to you :)
Hmm... How much I wish we can chat with each other like this everyday :P
Lessons start tomorrow at 1pm! This is the first time I ever had a lesson in the afternoon, and hopefully I don't wake up in the morning thinking I'm already late for school. I'm enjoying posting blog entries right from my iPhone. It's so convenient that images and videos can be easily uploaded from here.
What to do for FYP? I'm still thinking hard right now. I must definitely come out with something before Wednesday! All the best to me. Hopefully this semester would be a wonderful one for me.
Gosh, it's 2.27am. Goodnight everyone!
Hmm... How much I wish we can chat with each other like this everyday :P
Lessons start tomorrow at 1pm! This is the first time I ever had a lesson in the afternoon, and hopefully I don't wake up in the morning thinking I'm already late for school. I'm enjoying posting blog entries right from my iPhone. It's so convenient that images and videos can be easily uploaded from here.
What to do for FYP? I'm still thinking hard right now. I must definitely come out with something before Wednesday! All the best to me. Hopefully this semester would be a wonderful one for me.
Gosh, it's 2.27am. Goodnight everyone!
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For today, I'm going to talk about 5 things that you gave me that I took for granted all the while. Many things that you did for me, but I didn't really thought about treasuring it.
1) Waking me up every morning
You used to call me on my phone to wake me up every morning. Sometimes you overslept and didn't call me, I chided you. Despite how much you apologize to me, I thought that it was all your fault. I did not understand the amount of effort I have to put in to wake me up in the morning. I'm also a very heavy sleeper, it is extremely hard to wake me up. Nonetheless, you still tried so hard to wake me up everyday...
2) Giving me your 100% attention
Almost every time I message you and need your help, you will almost reply me instantly. You try your best to fulfill all my request. For example, I requested you to help me to answer the questions for the Rail Corridor assignment. You put in so much effort and completed those questions and sent it back to me. Sometimes when I 'go crazy', I even call you late at night (around 3am) and expect you to pick up your phone to talk to me. Most of the time, you really did pick up the phone and talked to me, despite being so freaking tired.
3) Putting me at number one priority
Everything you do, you will think of me first. Even if you didn't and something goes wrong, you will apologize to me. When I call you, you will ask all your siblings (even your parents) to leave you alone so that you can chat with me properly. When your house is noisy, you will move to a quieter area to chat with me because you know I dislike noisy environments.
4) Understanding how I feel
You try your best to understand how I feel, no matter how hard it is to read my mind. I still remember myself being 'emotionally unstable' knowing that I might fail my Engineering Mathematics exams. You tried to hard to make me calm down, even though it didn't work. I can see from your expressions that you are extremely worried yourself TOO, but still have to try to make me calm. Things like that is even harder when you are worried yourself, but you are persistent enough to making me calm down.
5) Your care and concern
There are many things that I do that aren't good for myself, be it health related, or anything related to me at all. I continue doing all the wrong things despite your continual persuasion in not doing so. I still expect you to encourage me and I tried to make you not worried. I guess I really didn't know what I was trying to do at that moment.
There are so many things that you did and I took them for granted. I cannot possibly list them all out here, but these are the things that I feel personally and kept them close to my heart.
It was never the case that I don't want you anymore, it is only that you don't want me anymore.
I love you, I REALLY do!
1) Waking me up every morning
You used to call me on my phone to wake me up every morning. Sometimes you overslept and didn't call me, I chided you. Despite how much you apologize to me, I thought that it was all your fault. I did not understand the amount of effort I have to put in to wake me up in the morning. I'm also a very heavy sleeper, it is extremely hard to wake me up. Nonetheless, you still tried so hard to wake me up everyday...
2) Giving me your 100% attention
Almost every time I message you and need your help, you will almost reply me instantly. You try your best to fulfill all my request. For example, I requested you to help me to answer the questions for the Rail Corridor assignment. You put in so much effort and completed those questions and sent it back to me. Sometimes when I 'go crazy', I even call you late at night (around 3am) and expect you to pick up your phone to talk to me. Most of the time, you really did pick up the phone and talked to me, despite being so freaking tired.
3) Putting me at number one priority
Everything you do, you will think of me first. Even if you didn't and something goes wrong, you will apologize to me. When I call you, you will ask all your siblings (even your parents) to leave you alone so that you can chat with me properly. When your house is noisy, you will move to a quieter area to chat with me because you know I dislike noisy environments.
4) Understanding how I feel
You try your best to understand how I feel, no matter how hard it is to read my mind. I still remember myself being 'emotionally unstable' knowing that I might fail my Engineering Mathematics exams. You tried to hard to make me calm down, even though it didn't work. I can see from your expressions that you are extremely worried yourself TOO, but still have to try to make me calm. Things like that is even harder when you are worried yourself, but you are persistent enough to making me calm down.
5) Your care and concern
There are many things that I do that aren't good for myself, be it health related, or anything related to me at all. I continue doing all the wrong things despite your continual persuasion in not doing so. I still expect you to encourage me and I tried to make you not worried. I guess I really didn't know what I was trying to do at that moment.
There are so many things that you did and I took them for granted. I cannot possibly list them all out here, but these are the things that I feel personally and kept them close to my heart.
It was never the case that I don't want you anymore, it is only that you don't want me anymore.
I love you, I REALLY do!
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Mobile users - Pls scroll down and tap Play on the music player
Desktop users - The song should automatically start playing
想用一杯 latte 把你灌醉 Wish I can use a cup of latte to make you drunk
好让你能多爱我一点 So that you can love me a little more
暗恋的滋味 The sensation of secretly in love
你不懂这种感觉 You won't understand the feeling
早有人陪的你永远不会 Especially a person like you with company, forever won't understand
看见你和他在我面前 Looking at you and him in front of me
证明我的爱只是愚昧 Proves that my love for you is ignorant
你不懂我的那些憔悴 You don't know all my languish-ness
是你永远不曾过的体会 It is something that you had never experienced
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 The hurt that I'm feeling you forever won't understand
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切 Why am I still forcing myself to love your everything
你又狠狠逼退我的防备 You heartlessly pushed me back
静静关上门来默数我的泪 Silently closed the door to silence my tears
Desktop users - The song should automatically start playing
想用一杯 latte 把你灌醉 Wish I can use a cup of latte to make you drunk
好让你能多爱我一点 So that you can love me a little more
暗恋的滋味 The sensation of secretly in love
你不懂这种感觉 You won't understand the feeling
早有人陪的你永远不会 Especially a person like you with company, forever won't understand
看见你和他在我面前 Looking at you and him in front of me
证明我的爱只是愚昧 Proves that my love for you is ignorant
你不懂我的那些憔悴 You don't know all my languish-ness
是你永远不曾过的体会 It is something that you had never experienced
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 The hurt that I'm feeling you forever won't understand
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切 Why am I still forcing myself to love your everything
你又狠狠逼退我的防备 You heartlessly pushed me back
静静关上门来默数我的泪 Silently closed the door to silence my tears
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ITP finally officially concluded. I felt a tinge of sadness, but it was okay. I knew that I would be able to visit them in school easily. They got me a lot of freebies. The one I liked the most is the SP Alumni Cup
Our Alumni, Our Pride
Hmmm, it is time to change my cup :)
I just woke up from a nap, I slept on my carpet in the living room. I still didn't bathed!! My parents switched on the lights along my corridor so I would not wake up to a complete darkness (Thanks Mum n Dad). The first person I thought of when I wake up, it's you again. I just cannot seem to get you off my mind.
Until now, I still believe that it is still possible for us to be like in the past. Chatting on the phone at night, going out on weekends, doing part-time jobs together and most importantly, spending time together. I took out the contents of my wallet today. Found quite a few stuff that 'belonged' to us. I don't know whether you still see the commonality between both of us... I missed all of it :(
Our Alumni, Our Pride
Hmmm, it is time to change my cup :)
I just woke up from a nap, I slept on my carpet in the living room. I still didn't bathed!! My parents switched on the lights along my corridor so I would not wake up to a complete darkness (Thanks Mum n Dad). The first person I thought of when I wake up, it's you again. I just cannot seem to get you off my mind.
Until now, I still believe that it is still possible for us to be like in the past. Chatting on the phone at night, going out on weekends, doing part-time jobs together and most importantly, spending time together. I took out the contents of my wallet today. Found quite a few stuff that 'belonged' to us. I don't know whether you still see the commonality between both of us... I missed all of it :(
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It had been so long since I last talked to her, chat with her and even communicate with her. She might have already thought that I no longer love her. She might have thought that I've given up on her. The fact is...
I DIDN'T AT ALL
Every time I think about her, I will wonder what she is doing, whether she is okay, whether her chest pain is getting any better, whether...... this and that. I miss those times when she will tell me things that happen in her life, it is only now that I understand that she is only doing what she used to do because she loved me.
I'm giving her all the time in the world. I'm just having that slightest hope that she would one day come back to me, giving me another chance to love her again. Ever since I last text her, I never got any reply. I miss her so much :( Remember those times when we were just friends? not just normal friends, but best friends that we can chat everyday? and still not getting bored of each other at all?
Today is the last day of my ITP, my supervisor gave me an overall grade for my 6 weeks as an intern. It was great working at the SP Alumni Relation Office. I learnt many new things regarding office work, and how the school handle matters in general. For my overall grade, I did not disappoint myself or anyone at all. I got an A
I DIDN'T AT ALL
Every time I think about her, I will wonder what she is doing, whether she is okay, whether her chest pain is getting any better, whether...... this and that. I miss those times when she will tell me things that happen in her life, it is only now that I understand that she is only doing what she used to do because she loved me.
I'm giving her all the time in the world. I'm just having that slightest hope that she would one day come back to me, giving me another chance to love her again. Ever since I last text her, I never got any reply. I miss her so much :( Remember those times when we were just friends? not just normal friends, but best friends that we can chat everyday? and still not getting bored of each other at all?
Today is the last day of my ITP, my supervisor gave me an overall grade for my 6 weeks as an intern. It was great working at the SP Alumni Relation Office. I learnt many new things regarding office work, and how the school handle matters in general. For my overall grade, I did not disappoint myself or anyone at all. I got an A
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Welcome to my blog, where I log down all the memories I had with my most beloved girl in this world.
Yes, she left me. I'm single now. I created this blog to always remember that girl that changed my entire life.
I really loved her, I tried so many ways to win her back but it didn't work. I do not know how long I can continue loving her, but at least for now. I know that I love her a lot.
For me, I always thought that Love is forever, permanent, and something that will NEVER change. I neglected her and didn't give her the attention that she wants or desire.
To all, do not wait until your loved ones leave you before you start treasuring them. Start treasuring them right now before it is all too late. If I ever get another chance to be with her, I swear to myself that I will love her right. It is only when I lost her, I came to know how important she is to me. Even when I'm not around with her, she is always with me. Every time I do something, I can hear her behind me, cheering me on. When I lost her, I lost my determination, concentration in my life...
When I first got into a relationship with her, I was so confused and troubled. It was my first relationship after all. I did nothing yet she loved me so much, so so much. She told me that I do not need to change myself. I just need to be myself and she will love me for who I am.
As time goes by, I've started to like her and love her for who she is. She is an amazing girl in every way. I hope I realized that earlier. At that time, my parents did not want me to get into a relationship. Therefore, I was 'hiding' it from them. Even when we go out, I didn't even hold her hand. I regretted it so much.
We worked together in Pepper Lunch, that was my first part-time job. The memories that I have with her is wonderful and something I would never forget in my entire life. We get to see each other almost everyday! We took leave days together to go out on a date. Things was perfect at that time. Our love for each other was raging.
Soon, we got separated because of our Polytechnic life. I was posted to Singapore Polytechnic, while she was posted to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. It was all because of my sucky results, I didn't get to attend Ngee Ann Polytechnic. At that time, she even wanted to change school just because of me. Yes, all for me (Just imagine how much she loved me then)
This is my year two (Approaching year three next semester), and many things have happened in between. I started spending lesser and lesser time with her. I think she didn't understand how I love her, or over time she realized that she doesn't need me anymore. I thought that she would always find me to talk about her happenings in school, just things that happen in her life in general. But she didn't. I should have known that there was a problem
I rarely get to dream about her, but these few days, I realized I dreamed about her a lot. I still can remember it very clearly, but it was weird.
Refer to QUOTE below in white box
She liked someone else. Many of my friends asked me to give up, I didn't. To be honest, I tried to give up. It was only then I realized how important she is to me. I saw my entire life with her. I saw my entire future with her. This is the first time in my life that I've regretted so much, so so much. I don't need to try many girls to find the perfect one. Think of it this way, there's no need to find others because she is the only one that I've had experienced 2.5 years of my life with. I don't want to try other girls to find out if they are better. Because she is the only one, she would always be the best one in my life.
I love her and I miss her...
Yes, she left me. I'm single now. I created this blog to always remember that girl that changed my entire life.
I really loved her, I tried so many ways to win her back but it didn't work. I do not know how long I can continue loving her, but at least for now. I know that I love her a lot.
For me, I always thought that Love is forever, permanent, and something that will NEVER change. I neglected her and didn't give her the attention that she wants or desire.
To all, do not wait until your loved ones leave you before you start treasuring them. Start treasuring them right now before it is all too late. If I ever get another chance to be with her, I swear to myself that I will love her right. It is only when I lost her, I came to know how important she is to me. Even when I'm not around with her, she is always with me. Every time I do something, I can hear her behind me, cheering me on. When I lost her, I lost my determination, concentration in my life...
When I first got into a relationship with her, I was so confused and troubled. It was my first relationship after all. I did nothing yet she loved me so much, so so much. She told me that I do not need to change myself. I just need to be myself and she will love me for who I am.
As time goes by, I've started to like her and love her for who she is. She is an amazing girl in every way. I hope I realized that earlier. At that time, my parents did not want me to get into a relationship. Therefore, I was 'hiding' it from them. Even when we go out, I didn't even hold her hand. I regretted it so much.
We worked together in Pepper Lunch, that was my first part-time job. The memories that I have with her is wonderful and something I would never forget in my entire life. We get to see each other almost everyday! We took leave days together to go out on a date. Things was perfect at that time. Our love for each other was raging.
Soon, we got separated because of our Polytechnic life. I was posted to Singapore Polytechnic, while she was posted to Ngee Ann Polytechnic. It was all because of my sucky results, I didn't get to attend Ngee Ann Polytechnic. At that time, she even wanted to change school just because of me. Yes, all for me (Just imagine how much she loved me then)
This is my year two (Approaching year three next semester), and many things have happened in between. I started spending lesser and lesser time with her. I think she didn't understand how I love her, or over time she realized that she doesn't need me anymore. I thought that she would always find me to talk about her happenings in school, just things that happen in her life in general. But she didn't. I should have known that there was a problem
I rarely get to dream about her, but these few days, I realized I dreamed about her a lot. I still can remember it very clearly, but it was weird.
Refer to QUOTE below in white box
She liked someone else. Many of my friends asked me to give up, I didn't. To be honest, I tried to give up. It was only then I realized how important she is to me. I saw my entire life with her. I saw my entire future with her. This is the first time in my life that I've regretted so much, so so much. I don't need to try many girls to find the perfect one. Think of it this way, there's no need to find others because she is the only one that I've had experienced 2.5 years of my life with. I don't want to try other girls to find out if they are better. Because she is the only one, she would always be the best one in my life.
I love her and I miss her...
I dreamed that I brought her to a clinic. I didn't know where I was then. I didn't accompany her into the clinic in that dream, it was out of my control. When she went out of the clinic, she looked at me and passed me something. Then, I woke up :((
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