This is supposed to be my first private post here at my blog. I created this private blog because I wanted to jot down a few sensitive stuff on my personal life. I know I've been jotting down things related to my life, but I always leave the sensitive things aside. Now it is time, for me to go all out to talk about my personal feelings.

Ultimatum: let's say you are just my normal friend. Will I even care if you did all these with your boyfriend? If I'm a little bit more selfish and just don't care about you for that slightest moment. Do I realize how much better I feel that way now? Compared to tears and heartache? Let's say I'm Lemuel and you told me this, will I be as affected? Other than saying that you are dumb, stupid, to think that it's still love? Am I just a friend or more than a friend? Do I like you? Do I love you?

PowerAmp is blasting my music at max volume, while the rest of my section mates are sleeping. I will jot down the songs I listened to at the point of writing this blog post. Hopefully to be able to recreate the same feeling again in the future. PowerAmp is currently shuffling my music list.

#nowplaying 缺口 等一个人咖啡
#nowplaying Nothing on You by B.o.B
#nowplaying Have You Ever by S Club 7
#nowplaying I Wish you Well by Mariah Carey
#nowplaying 你的倒影 That Girl in Pinafore OST

What happened today morning was really unexpected. I didn't know you will lie to me. I didn't know that everything I've built during the past few months will break down again. Why do you always break my heart? Why? Why make me feel hopeful and then destroy all of it again?

Do you really like me? How do you feel to see me like that? Girl, don't make use of me. Maybe you know that no matter what happens, I won't leave you? Have you ever asked yourself whether you deserve me? Why do you want me to be your knight?

Why am I always affected by you? When will I stop caring? Did I owe you anything my past life?


As always, take care and I'll see you soon!